Liquor: Halloween Candy Corn Martini

I started this little project about a week ago, but because I can't count (apparently), by posting today I'm not giving YOU enough time to try this recipe yourself. Seriously, I fail so hard. The only reason why this takes 5-7 days is because you're doing your own infusion of candy corn vodka--MAYBE you could find a version in a liquor store? I mean, it's seasonal and god knows they flavour vodka with EVERYTHING these days (maple syrup, anyone? how 'bout butter? Swedish fish?). It was super easy to make, though, so if you have any extra candy corn left over from Halloween this week, do have at it! (The candy corn alone was difficult to find; for some reason I had to go to three different stores to find it and even then I almost had to fight this woman off for the last bag. Lady, I WILL have my candy corn vodka--this is not amateur hour!)

If you don't like vodka, you probably shouldn't make this. And we also probably shouldn't be friends. Now, if you don't like candy corn, well...I was worried that I would wind up with a sludgy sickly sweet mess, but I was wrong! The vodka absorbs the buttery taste of candy corn plus the iridescent orange colour, but leaves a lot of the tooth-aching sweetness behind. It really was very mild.

To make the candy corn infused vodka you'll need 2 parts vodka (I used Absolut) to 1 part candy corn; so, 2 cups of vodka and 1 cup of candy corn. I wasn't sure I would like it, though, and I'm the only vodka drinker in the house, so I halved it to 1 cup of vodka and 1/2 cup of candy corn. Throw into a clean Mason jar and stow away in a cool dark place for 5 days.

Bonus: doubles as a Halloween decoration. Sort of. If you're reaching.

When your five days of infusion are up, it's time to strain the vodka. Look! All the candy corn disappeared! 

Dudes, it was SO GROSS looking the first day--the candy corn had dissolved into these ghostly, floating tendrils of white that looked like snot floating in the vodka. 

Never fear. Shake up the jar, and then strain it through cheesecloth (fold over a few times to make it a tighter strain) into another glass or bowl. I found the easiest way to do this was to rubber band the cheesecloth around the mouth of a drinking glass and pour the vodka slowly through that. The cheesecloth caught everything and left only clear orange vodka behind. Presto!
 

Cheers to Mondays, cheers to candy corn, cheers to being holiday-specific drunk!

Candy Corn Martinis

makes 1 decently sized martini

What You Need

1 1/2 ounces candy corn vodka

3/4 ounce vanilla vodka (I used Absolut Vanilla)

1/2 ounce white vermouth

3 dashes Angosturra bitters

What You Do

Shake over ice in a cocktail shaker and serve.

Look, I failed on multiple levels with this little project, because I had intended to line the rim of the glass with Pop Rocks all cute-like. But do you think the four different stores I went to had Pop Rocks? NO! Do you think the fifth store had RED STRAWBERRY Pop Rocks? Of course. Because, that's what Mondays are just like.

I finally got home and thought OK, I'll make a compromise and edge it in green decorating sugar that I have on hand. So I open the drawer and--hahahahahahaha. I only have red sugar left. At that point I decided I just wanted to get the damn vodka inside me as soon as possible, so I chopped a candy corn in half and quit at life for the night.