Liquor: Grapefruit Rosemary Diamond Fizz

IIIIIIIIII have just discovered my new favourite morning drink! This is the MOST fun, because I think mimosas and Bloody Marys, while awesome, are totally played out. I get bored easily. When you're hosting a nice fancy brunch, you want to be able to offer something unique!

Alternatively this drink is classy and snazzy enough for an elegant evening dinner, perhaps with fish or a salad since it involves a light, dry prosecco. That's why it's called a diamond fizz instead of a regular gin fizz--prosecco/champagne trumps regular club soda or tonic water here. Cuz we fancy. Fancy doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg, though--I picked up a bottle of Penny Stamp Prosecco at my local World Market for $7. When it costs less than a bottle of wine, you don't have to wait for a special occasion to break out the bubbles. A Thursday will do. Thursdays are great. Thursdays are Friday Eve, the pre-weekend. DO IT!

Oh! And I have to share this COOLEST OF COOL gadget I also found at World Market, the Rabbit Champagne Sealer. This little doo-dad expands to fit champagne and wine bottles of pretty much any size so that it doesn't go flat in the fridge until your next opportunity to drink. And it really works! How cool is that!

I am such a simple child.

I've gotten so used to using garnishes on drinks as an accompaniment, but champagne based drinks really don't require it and the shape of the glass doesn't reeeeeally lend itself to such. So it doesn't LOOK terribly fancy, and my photography sucks, but trust me--it's light, bubbly, delicious, and not too sweet.

What You Need
makes 1 bubbly cocktail

1 tablespoon of our previously made rosemary simple syrup
2 ounces fresh squeezed grapefruit juice (I had some tucked away from my most recent batch of Grapefruit Crushes)
1 ounce gin
Champagne or Prosecco, to top off

What You Do
1. In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, shake the rosemary simple syrup, grapefruit juice, and gin together for 30 seconds until the mixer is frosty. Pour into a champagne flute and top off with prosecco or champagne.

Liquor: Cucumber Mint Gin

Back again with the booze! Yeeeaaahhhhh....I've been drinking my dinner most nights this week but also, ALSO! I'm moving back to Florida in three weeks and I need to eat my way out of the leftovers in the freezer, because evidently there is always some part of my mind that assumes that the zombie apocalypse is right around the corner, and god forbid I don't have enough gumbo and Italian Lemon Chicken and Orzo Soup on hand to get through it all.

In the meantime, I'm using GIN to get through all of THIS!

This past week my dearest Lilypad regaled me with a description of a drink she enjoyed in DC, something with cucumber and mint and gin. Since I have recently reignited my love affair with gin, I couldn't wait to reproduce it. I suppose this would be more apropos for all my Florida friends who are basking in the warmth of the sun and sand (SOON! Soon I will be with you, my people!) because it's light and utterly refreshing and delicious. Here, here it's just snow. Snow, snow, snow, and more forking snow, endless white bullshit. I'm back to being angry about winter.

In the meantime, mix this up and pretend you're relaxing on a warm porch swing somewhere in the South. That's what I'm doing. Cheers!

In correlation with yesterday's highly educational blog post on how to mix drinks when you are broke, this is a drink served without ice, and therefore SHOULD be in a stemmed glass. But, you can totally serve this with ice, if you want to. If it's actually warm enough to warrant a need for ice, where you are. (PS, GFY.)

Cucumber Mint Martini
serves 1

 What You Need
~3 inches cucumber, peeled and diced
2 fresh mint leaves
1/4 of a lime
2 ounces gin (I'm currently experimenting with Plymouth)
1 dash bitters (optional)
tonic water, to top off

What You Do
1. Throw your diced cucumber in the bottom of a cocktail shaker. Put the mint leaves in your hand, and clap. (This releases some of the fragrance and essential oils and also makes you look cool.) Add them to the shaker along with the juice of 1/4 of a lime, and the bitters. Muddle really really really well with a muddler or a wooden spoon. Add the gin and tons of ice and shake hard for 30 seconds. Strain into a cocktail glass and top off with tonic water (you'll want a bit of that sweetness to round it out.) Serve with a fresh cucumber garnish.

Lagniappe: Boozing On A Budget, Part 1

The actual FULL title of today's post is "Boozing on a Budget: Everything You Need to Have a Perfectly Well-Stocked Cocktail Bar to Get You Through The Week and Life in General" but that seemed a bit excessive.

Let's talk about cocktails! We talk about them all the time here, don't we? I like to drink. I come from a family of Europeans raised in Latin America, and we have a GRAND old time with a great whiskey or aged rum. It's in my blood. No seriously, I'm pretty sure that at any given time there is a measurable amount of alcohol in my blood somehow, someway.

To my future employers: HAHAHA! I was just kidding about that last line, of course. Move along.

Now I do love a great wine, red or white, with my personal favourites being Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Noir, and Sauvignon Blanc and unoaked Chardonnay, respectively. Wine is my go-to when I am legitimately stressed out and just want to unwind after a long day. Cocktails though, liquors, with their myriad of accompanying bitters, mixers, garnishes, infusions, and variations--it's an absolute PLAYGROUND for me, just as much as food is! In fact, I've got some blackberry vodka infusing on my countertop as we speak that I hope to play around with for a tangerine spritzer cocktail.

The problem is, I have no money. Boo, hiss! LIQUOR COMPANIES, PLEASE SEND ME FREE ALCOHOL! I will write about you in this most winning fashion, and you will thank me. Though my liver might not.

Until that happens (or I marry for money, whichever comes first), here's how I mix things up on a budget:

Essential Items for Cocktailing: Equipment
That's a word. I'm making it happen.


Cocktail Shaker: Whelp, I guess I fail at my own list because I don't even really have one of these. Bear and I have a cheap stainless steel one in our house that I suspect is some sort of "drinking governor" type device, because it will only let me make one drink before the metal expands to the point where I can't pry the lid off to make a second one. I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEING JUDGED ON MY DRINKING HABITS BY AN INANIMATE OBJECT. So I use a to-go coffee cup! It's metal and it has a small opening to strain out the ice. Make do, bitches.

 Yeah...I'll probably be upgrading here soon. THIS ISN'T EVEN MINE omfg why haven't my roommates kicked me out yet.

Jigger: A jigger is a double-ended shot glass, usually 2 ounces on one end and 1 ounce on the other. You can just use a regular shot glass, of course, but make sure you know exactly how much it measures. There's no real standard, so you could be pouring anywhere from 0.75 ounce to 2 ounces without realising it. For years I wondered why all my friends complained that my drinks were too strong--as it turns out, before I got a jigger I was using a Marine Corps stamped shot glass that was a deceptive 2 ounces instead of 1. Whoops. (Marine Corps...shoulda known.) 

Muddler: Another fail. I'm doing well, aren't I? A muddler is a stainless steel rod with a ridged plastic end that is used to mash up ingredients at the bottom of a glass to release oils, juices, etc as in an Old Fashioned. I use a wooden spoon. *shrug*

Glassware: This is an obvious one, but if you're really on a budget you probably only have two basic types of glasses: drinking glasses and wine glasses. If you're trendy, possibly Mason jars as well. I'm lucky to live with someone who owns a set of rocks glasses for my whiskey on the rocks (where the name comes from, obvi), Old Fashioneds, and most of the cocktails you see on this blog. We recently acquired some stemless wine glasses that I've been using as a slightly more elegant option but I'm going to have to leave both of these behind when I move next month.

It actually PAINS me a great deal that I don't have the correct set of glasses for all the drinks I want to make, because a truly classy, well-stocked cocktail bar would have the following:

• Champagne flutes: for any cocktail that involves champagne or prosecco. The tall, slim shape allows the bubbles to emit in long thin streams and keeps them concentrated for longer. 
• Coupes: this is probably what you envision when you think of Gatsby! Coupes are used to make a champagne tower at wedding receptions (but has anyone ACTUALLY seen that at wedding reception?!) but fell out of favour fairly quickly because the wide surface area of the mouth makes the champers lose its carbonation more quickly.
• Martini glasses: after doing some research I realised that this is actually technically called a "cocktail glass"; it became known as the martini glass after its most popular usage. However, the general idea of a martini glass revolves around the stem; in this you serve any drink that is meant to be enjoyed cold but not actually over ice, because the stem keeps the heat of your hand away from the drink. It always strikes me as finicky to drink that way though. Hmm.
• Rocks glasses: I call them"rocks glasses" because that's what I grew up hearing, but they're also called lowballs or Old Fashioned glasses, after their most famous (and delicious!) contents. It's a short tumbler with a thick base often used to serve drinks "on the rocks" or any drink that involves muddling of things on the bottom. A good, classic, clear glass rocks glass with a spot of Maker's Mark in it, floating around an ice sphere, is a damn beautiful site!
• Collins glass: A tall, slim glass, the Collins glass is used to serve sippin' drinks with ice, things like Long Island Iced Teas and Whiskey Gingers, things that people drink in the South on the porch in the summer while the condensation slips down your hand. Perfection!

Y-Peeler: Like a regular vegetable peeler, but shaped like a Y. This is used to take peels of citrus fruit, usually orange or lemon, as a garnish for sophisticated cocktails. You CAN use a paring knife as well, but I find a y-peeler to be more controlled and precise. They *are* harder to find, though. 

There are also several other odds and ends for a nicely stoked bar like a strainer, a citrus squeezer, matches or a lighter to ignite citrus peels and their essential oils, a set of tongs to match an ice bucket, etc.  Ain't nobody got time (or space) for that, though.

In the absence of a rich Saudi husband, I plan to hit up some thrift stores (or my father's house--head's up Dad!) to find unique "solos" of all of those to build up my hodge-podge collection, but lemme tell you--a Carlos O'Brien tastes just as delicious in a rocks glass as it does out of a wine glass or a Mason jar or a coffee mug. I'm just saying. It's nice to be able to enjoy a cocktail in the most perfect, refined way possible, but don't let yourself get so hung up on the details that you no longer enjoy it. :)

Coming up next, the fun stuff: booze!

Lagniappe: Wonder What That's Like

I hope I never have to find out.

Liquor: Rosemary Gin Rickey

Two cocktails in a row, woot woot! Yeeeaaaaaah buddy, I've been breaking out of my wine-only rut and am back to experimenting with the cocktail shaker. I think I got stuck in between ginger flavours and tequila for awhile, so I'm excited to have something new to present to you: a Rosemary Gin Rickey, from photographer Elizabeth Morrow. You can find the original recipe here.

Rosemary is a tricky ingredient, for me. It can be overwhelming at times, a strange combination of woody and floral fragrance and taste. I was intrigued to give this a try, and let me tell you, I am a full-on fan. The rosemary simple syrup is just subtle enough to that you only get a TASTE of rosemary, and the garnish of fresh rosemary provides the perfect whiff as you sip. As I noted before with the Pimm's Cup, in many cases, a cocktail garnish is NOT optional!!! A garnish serves the very important purpose of stimulating your sense of smell, which is of course closely tied to your sense of taste and part of the whole experience of a cocktail. A garnish is a complement to the drink. USE IT. 

Serve like so for effect, but of course, drop that baby tree into your drink before taking your first sip. I can't believe I actually have to tell people that, but there you go.

First, you must make the Rosemary Simple Syrup.

What You Need

makes 1 cup of simple syrup; scale as necessary

1 cup white granulated sugar

1 cup filtered water

4 sprigs fresh rosemary

What You Do

1. Making any simple syrup has the same (simple, hah) process: combine 1 part filtered water to 1 part sugar (usually white granulated) plus your flavouirng agent. You may recall we've used one before with before with the smashing Lemon Ginger Martini, with the original recipe being explained in the Carlos O'Brien. So all you do here is combine the ingredients in a small pot and bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring often to make sure the sugar doesn't burn or stick to the bottom of the pan. Let it boil for 1 minute such that the sugar is completely dissolved, then cover and remove from the heat. Let steep for 30 minutes, drain out the rosemary sprigs, and store in the fridge in an airtight container.

I absolutely adored the light, baby-spring-green colour the simple syrup wound up having (not evident in the photo above, unfortunately). You also eat with your eyes, after all! Onwards we go.

Rosemary Gin Rickey
makes 1 drink

What You Need
1 ounce rosemary simple syrup
1 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice
1.5 ounces gin
club soda (I always prefer tonic water) to top off
spring of rosemary + white granulated sugar for garnish

What You Do
1. In a cocktail shaker over lots of ice, combine the first three ingredients. Shake for 30 seconds until the shaker is frosty. Pour into a highball glass over ice and top off with bubbles to your desired strength. Moisten a sprig of rosemary with water and roll around in some white sugar to give it that pretty, frosted look.

Oh, and hint hint--this would be a fantastically complementary pre-dinner cocktail for that Short Rib Ragu.

Liquor: The Dirty Drunk Girl Scout

I'm not exactly sure what to call this drink. Most of you will recognise it as the Dirty Girl Scout, but that involves Creme de Menthe and Bailey's Irish Cream, neither of which I happened to have on Sunday. What's a girl to do when she's determined to drink her dessert? Improvise! (Drunkenness is the mother of invention, right? That's how the saying goes?) That's why THIS little recipe calls for similar but different ingredients and I get to switch up the title. Figures that it becomes even more inappropriate that way, but whatever.

Beware: this drink is SWEET, much sweeter than I will ever be. These days I just want my Maker's Mark on the rocks, but when you're craving dessert and are fresh out of Thin Mints or anything else that's minty and chocolately and indulgent and delicious...well, this kind of thing happens. Join me, ladies. Your PMS will thank me later.

It's almost like a grown up milkshake? That's awesome. If you want to be fancy you can garnish with a sprig of mint, which I also, sadly, did not have on hand. Foodie problems yo.

What You Need
makes 1 cocktail

2 ounces vodka
1.5 ounces white chocolate liqueur  (I used Godiva)
1 ounce peppermint schnapps (I used what I had leftover from Christmas, but I was told by my buddy Monkey Boy to definitely try it with Rumple Minze next time for an extra kick. Meow.)
1 ounce Kahlua

What You Do

1. Easy, peasy, pudding & pie. Shake all in a cocktail shaker over ice for 30 seconds and serve, again over ice. Garnish with fresh mint if you wish, or a cookie on the side if you are REALLY suffering.


You may notice that's not your average ice cube floating there. In fact, a few weeks ago the folks over at Arctic Chill asked me if they could send me some free stuff to test , and of course the only sane answer to that question is "HELL YES!" They sent me a four-pack of these badass Ice Ball Makers and I've been messing around with them ever since. They're round, BPA-free (or so they say; I couldn't find mention of this anywhere on the box...something to think about, Arctic Chill!) silicon moulds that look like this:

 

All you do is connect the two pieces together and fill with water. Water expands as it freezes, of course, so the two pieces separate a bit but nothing crazy, and out easily pops an ice ball like this:

They melt so much slower than regular ice cubes, making them perfect for drinks on the rocks (my roommate Bear raves over these for his whiskey on the rocks) or drinks you want to keep cold without diluting terribly, just like the Dirty Girl Scout. No one likes watery cream drinks. At $20 for a 4-pack from Amazon I think they're definitely a worthy investment for your liquor cabinet. I'm going to be experimenting with them in the spring, filling them with water that's been boiled and cooled to yield a clear ice ball instead of a murky one, and possibly studding them with frozen fruit or edible flowers. You know, girly shit.

Cheers!

Lekker: Arugula Salad with Orange Muscat Champagne Vinaigrette

Break out of your boring Romaine-and-spring-greens lettuce rut and try my current favourite green: arugula. Well, "rocket" or "rucola", as I know it, but evidently few Americans know which end is up when you're talking about a delicious rocket salad. Hmph.

I first discovered this green when I was in Germany back in 2008. There it's treated much like spinach, so you can find it everywhere from raw salads to ravioli filling. It has a unique peppery flavour that gives it more of a kick than other more traditional greens, and a neat leaf shape. Arugula can't handle heavy, creamy dressings and should only ever be very LIGHTLY dressed--no need to drown it like your sorrows, mmkay? It's popular enough you can find it everywhere now, so give this pretty salad a try the next time you're feeling healthy, or need to detox from St. Paddy's Day weekend (hint hint). While it appears simple on the surface (and really, it is) this awesome orange muscat champagne vinegar I found at Trader Joe's makes a special vinaigrette that'll elevate your pile of greens to something extraordinary.

 GO FORTH, MY LITTLE RABBITS!

Fresh! Bright! Healthy goodness!

Arugula Salad with Orange Muscat Champagne Vinaigrette
serves 1

What You Need
A large handful of fresh baby arugula
A small handful of cherry or grape tomatoes, halved (I used mixed mini heirloom tomatoes for colour variety)
A sprinkling of fresh goat cheese (chevre) o'er top (Goat cheese is the perfect accompaniment to this salad by giving a nice dose of creamy richness without overpowering the greens.) 
A very small handful of fresh walnuts, chopped

For the vinaigrette:
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 tablespoons Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar (I know, I'm being a brat by calling for something so specific. If you don't have a Trader Joe's near you, try finding a similar citrus-and-champagne vinegar at a Wegman's, Publix, or Whole Foods. It's a fun change up from your usual balsamic blahness.)
1 teaspoon poppy seeds
Salt & Pepper, just to taste

What You Do

1. Salads are easy. It's not actually MAKING anything, it's just assembling a bunch of stuff. Toss everything in your bowl, and in another small bowl whisk up the vinaigrette with a fork. Dress lightly, and chow down. Feel good about yourself. Also feel a little bit like a bunny rabbit while you're eating it. It's okay. Bunnies are cute and so are you.

Lekker: Beef Short Rib Ragu

Did you know that the plural of "beef" is BEEVES??? I AM SERIOUS.

Now that that's out of the way, hi! I'm back, tonight with a beef short rib ragu done in the slow cooker than is the absolute definition of comfort food. Turned out to be quite serendipitous that it's snowing like hell here tonight, which somehow justifies "comfort food" even more. It does, though! I'm not even mad about it anymore; it's March 16th (ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME IT IS SPRING BREAK IN MOST PLACES RIGHT NOW OMFGGGGGG) and I've just resigned myself to the fate of living in an icy tundra for the rest of my days.

Anyways. I enjoyed this recipe tonight with my roommates Badger and Bear whilst listening to them bicker about their viability as an Amazing Race team. Kids, let me take all the mystery out of that one for you: one of you is coming home in a body bag.

 Tastes so much better than it looks, I promise!

Short Rib Ragu
serves 4

What You Need
3 pounds beef short ribs, cut into 3-inch pieces (It's unlikely you'll find this kind of thing in your usual grocer; I suggest you find a local butcher who will not only have this cut but will be happy to cut it to the correct specifications as well.)
Preferred oil for frying (canola, vegetable, clarified butter/ghee, etc)
1 large carrot, peeled, halved lengthwise and sliced into 1-inch pieces
1 celery rib, halved lengthwise and sliced into 1-inch pieces
1 medium onion, diced roughly
3 cloves garlic, simply crushed with the flat blade of your knife
1/2 cup red wine (Anything non-sweet that you have on hand will do: Pinot Noir, Merlot, Cab Sav)
1 28-ounce tin whole tomatoes in juice
6-8 stalks fresh oregano
S & P to taste

Serve over these delicious mashed potatoes, though go easy on the half-and-half--you want these to be able to stand up as a sturdy base to the ragu, so you don't want them to be too creamy or soft.

What You Do

1. In a large cast iron or stainless steel skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Sear off the short ribs, working in small batches so as not to crowd the pan (because that's the quickest way to get things steaming instead of frying, no bueno), until well-browned and nicely crusted on both sides. Transfer to a plate and keep working until all the ribs are done.
2. Pour off any excessive fat in the pan, leaving only about a tablespoon. Add the carrot, celery, onion and garlic and turn the heat down to medium-low. Cook, stirring, for about 2 minutes just until the carrots brighten in colour. Add the red wine and stir, scraping up any browned bits left over from the beef. Cook over medium heat until the red wine is mostly absorbed, then remove from heat.
3. Toss the beef and veggies together in a 5-6 quart slow cooker and add the can of tomatoes, breaking up with your hands as you go. (Careful--it's fun squishing them, but they squirt all over the place!) Sprinkle in 4 stalks of fresh oregano and add salt and pepper. Cover, and cook on High for 6 hours.

4. Hollaaaaaa! All done? Okay, if you're ready to eat then get those mashed potatoes going. While they're boiling, you'll want to remove the bones from the slow cooker (the meat should be so tender by now that they're easy to just pick up and remove) and shred the remaining meat with two forks. Add the remaining fresh oregano (fresh herbs lose their power during long cooking so you'll want to boost it up) and taste, adding salt and pepper as necessary. Remember that you're dealing with both beef and tomatoes here, both ingredients that simply cry out to be seasoned with salt.
5. Serve over a pillow of mashed potatoes and a glass of red wine. Hey, you opened a bottle to reduce those vegetables, didn't you? May as well. :)

Lekker: Mashed Brussels Sprouts

Everyone keeps going on and on about mashed cauliflower as an alternative to mashed potatoes; that crap is like the herpes of Pinterest. Unfortunately for me I've never been able to perfect the recipe--it always turns out too grainy or too watery and exactly 0% "just like mashed potatoes."

Um, excuse me, you are not fooling me. I know mashed potatoes.

I'm not saying they're terribly GREAT for you or anything, being only simple carbohydrates, fat and salt...but isn't that the very definition of a comfort food?

This stuff, though...these mashed Brussels sprouts leave that cauliflower mush in the dust and are so satisfying, and so comforting, I *may* never need to make mashed potatoes again.

Maybe. Let's not get totally out of hand here.

This is really fantastic stuff, though, and if you've already turned your nose at it because it's Brussels sprouts, you need an intervention! Brussels sprouts were brutalised for most of us, I think, with clumsy over-boiling until they were little green balls of sulphuric hell. Roasting baby Brussels brings out a crispy outer texture and sweet nutty overtones, and I'll have a recipe for that soon, but in the meantime, give this bad boy a shot. I'm SURE the concept of mashed Brussels sprouts seems strange, but what's life without a little (or in my case, a great lot) or strangeness? :)

This is the consistency I achieved using only a potato mashed, but if you want it smoother you could run it through with a pair of beaters.

Mashed Brussels Sprouts
serves about 2 as a side dish with a smidge for leftovers

What You Need
1 lb fresh Brussels sprouts (I buy the bag from Trader Joes, but if you can score them straight on the stalk at a farmer's market, by all means snag those! They look so cool, like something you'd see in Doctor Who!)
4-5 tablespoons salted butter, cut into pieces
1/3 cup half-and-half (or more, to adjust the consistency to your liking)
Salt & pepper, to taste

What You Do
1. I think this is even simpler and faster that mashed potatoes. Just wash your Brussels sprouts lightly (if they're fresh, there might still be a bit of sand/dirt on them) and trim the ends off, removing any grubby outer leaves. Slice into quarters, and toss into a steamer basket. If you don't have a steamer basket, GET ONE! It's just a little basket you pop into a pot that will keep your veggies elevated above the inch or so of water you'll put in the bottom. It's MAGIC.

2. Steam just until the sprouts are bright green and fork tender. Lift the steamer basket out, drain the water, and pop the sprouts back into the pot. Add your butter and half-and-half and go to work with a standard potato masher. Add salt and pepper to taste, aaaaand....you're done!

I asked my roommate TB to have a taste to let me know his thoughts. He dipped his spoon in, and was quiet. He dipped his spoon in again. He dipped his spoon in AGAIN...and I wrested the bowl away from him. Yep, "good enough I could eat the whole bowl!"

Lagniappe: How to Boil an Egg

Today's post is an instructional one, since several of my recipes recently have called for hard or soft boiled egg of some sort and I've been eating a lot of them, too. In fact, I recently discovered that it is ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUSLY POSSIBLE to make egg salad without any mayo whatsoever. Yep, just do a half-and-half mixture of plain Greek yogurt and avocado, mix in an acid of your choice (I dig Dijon mustard) and salt and pepper, and you've got yourself a fantastically light green, rich, lean egg salad. If you hate avocado (you're wrong) and simply have to have your mayo, at least do a 50/50 mix of mayo and Greek yogurt. I promise you will not notice the difference, and you'll have just cut your calories in half: one tablespoon of mayo has 90 calories, one tablespoon of Greek yogurt has 17 calories. Don't say I never did anything for ya!

 Photo from Bon Appetit, credit Danny Kim

Anyway, back to boiling eggs. Everyone has their own way of doing this and everyone's so sure they're right, but I'm pretty sure I'm the MOST right. You'll notice I reference "piercing" the eggs--this is SOP in South Africa and Europe but I find it's not as well-known here. Y'all are at a disadvantage! Piercing the large end of the eggs make the shells less likely to crack during boiling, and I think it makes them infinitely easier to peel, too. I use a gadget like this one, but you can also just use a pin or a needle.

It's simple! Place the pierced eggs in a medium sized pot and cover with cold salted water. Use a big enough pot so that the eggs can have room to move, and enough water such that the eggs are covered by at least an inch. Cover and bring to a boil. The SECOND it comes to a boil, start the timer for 1 minute. After 1 minute of boiling, remove the pot from the heat and let sit, covered, for 12 minutes. When the 12 minutes are up, immediately dump them into a bowl of ice cold water to shock them. This instantly stops the cooking process. Wait 'til they're fully chilled, and peel. Dunzo.

Soft boiled eggs are a bit trickier. That was my favourite breakfast as a kid: soft boiled eggs with little toast soldiers for dipping. I'm 23 years old and that is STILL my most comforting breakfast! The way I like them, with very soft yolks, is to bring a pot of salted water to a rolling boil. Pierce the eggs and lower them gently into the water with a slotted spoon. Boil for 5 minutes, then shock with ice water. "Decapitate" them (slice off the top 1/3 with a sharp knife) and serve in an egg cup with sliced toast for dipping.

There's also an in-between egg, the kind that's served on top of soups, sort of a medium. It's the exact same instructions as a soft boiled egg, but you cook it for 7 minutes instead of 5.

Bon Appetit has the most amasing visual graphic here, if like me, you like pictures. And it is because they have this lovely graphic that I don't have to bother with taking my OWN multiple egg pictures. Everybody wins.

Bon Appetit!