Lagniappe: Boozing On A Budget, Part 1

The actual FULL title of today's post is "Boozing on a Budget: Everything You Need to Have a Perfectly Well-Stocked Cocktail Bar to Get You Through The Week and Life in General" but that seemed a bit excessive.

Let's talk about cocktails! We talk about them all the time here, don't we? I like to drink. I come from a family of Europeans raised in Latin America, and we have a GRAND old time with a great whiskey or aged rum. It's in my blood. No seriously, I'm pretty sure that at any given time there is a measurable amount of alcohol in my blood somehow, someway.

To my future employers: HAHAHA! I was just kidding about that last line, of course. Move along.

Now I do love a great wine, red or white, with my personal favourites being Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Noir, and Sauvignon Blanc and unoaked Chardonnay, respectively. Wine is my go-to when I am legitimately stressed out and just want to unwind after a long day. Cocktails though, liquors, with their myriad of accompanying bitters, mixers, garnishes, infusions, and variations--it's an absolute PLAYGROUND for me, just as much as food is! In fact, I've got some blackberry vodka infusing on my countertop as we speak that I hope to play around with for a tangerine spritzer cocktail.

The problem is, I have no money. Boo, hiss! LIQUOR COMPANIES, PLEASE SEND ME FREE ALCOHOL! I will write about you in this most winning fashion, and you will thank me. Though my liver might not.

Until that happens (or I marry for money, whichever comes first), here's how I mix things up on a budget:

Essential Items for Cocktailing: Equipment
That's a word. I'm making it happen.


Cocktail Shaker: Whelp, I guess I fail at my own list because I don't even really have one of these. Bear and I have a cheap stainless steel one in our house that I suspect is some sort of "drinking governor" type device, because it will only let me make one drink before the metal expands to the point where I can't pry the lid off to make a second one. I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEING JUDGED ON MY DRINKING HABITS BY AN INANIMATE OBJECT. So I use a to-go coffee cup! It's metal and it has a small opening to strain out the ice. Make do, bitches.

 Yeah...I'll probably be upgrading here soon. THIS ISN'T EVEN MINE omfg why haven't my roommates kicked me out yet.

Jigger: A jigger is a double-ended shot glass, usually 2 ounces on one end and 1 ounce on the other. You can just use a regular shot glass, of course, but make sure you know exactly how much it measures. There's no real standard, so you could be pouring anywhere from 0.75 ounce to 2 ounces without realising it. For years I wondered why all my friends complained that my drinks were too strong--as it turns out, before I got a jigger I was using a Marine Corps stamped shot glass that was a deceptive 2 ounces instead of 1. Whoops. (Marine Corps...shoulda known.) 

Muddler: Another fail. I'm doing well, aren't I? A muddler is a stainless steel rod with a ridged plastic end that is used to mash up ingredients at the bottom of a glass to release oils, juices, etc as in an Old Fashioned. I use a wooden spoon. *shrug*

Glassware: This is an obvious one, but if you're really on a budget you probably only have two basic types of glasses: drinking glasses and wine glasses. If you're trendy, possibly Mason jars as well. I'm lucky to live with someone who owns a set of rocks glasses for my whiskey on the rocks (where the name comes from, obvi), Old Fashioneds, and most of the cocktails you see on this blog. We recently acquired some stemless wine glasses that I've been using as a slightly more elegant option but I'm going to have to leave both of these behind when I move next month.

It actually PAINS me a great deal that I don't have the correct set of glasses for all the drinks I want to make, because a truly classy, well-stocked cocktail bar would have the following:

• Champagne flutes: for any cocktail that involves champagne or prosecco. The tall, slim shape allows the bubbles to emit in long thin streams and keeps them concentrated for longer. 
• Coupes: this is probably what you envision when you think of Gatsby! Coupes are used to make a champagne tower at wedding receptions (but has anyone ACTUALLY seen that at wedding reception?!) but fell out of favour fairly quickly because the wide surface area of the mouth makes the champers lose its carbonation more quickly.
• Martini glasses: after doing some research I realised that this is actually technically called a "cocktail glass"; it became known as the martini glass after its most popular usage. However, the general idea of a martini glass revolves around the stem; in this you serve any drink that is meant to be enjoyed cold but not actually over ice, because the stem keeps the heat of your hand away from the drink. It always strikes me as finicky to drink that way though. Hmm.
• Rocks glasses: I call them"rocks glasses" because that's what I grew up hearing, but they're also called lowballs or Old Fashioned glasses, after their most famous (and delicious!) contents. It's a short tumbler with a thick base often used to serve drinks "on the rocks" or any drink that involves muddling of things on the bottom. A good, classic, clear glass rocks glass with a spot of Maker's Mark in it, floating around an ice sphere, is a damn beautiful site!
• Collins glass: A tall, slim glass, the Collins glass is used to serve sippin' drinks with ice, things like Long Island Iced Teas and Whiskey Gingers, things that people drink in the South on the porch in the summer while the condensation slips down your hand. Perfection!

Y-Peeler: Like a regular vegetable peeler, but shaped like a Y. This is used to take peels of citrus fruit, usually orange or lemon, as a garnish for sophisticated cocktails. You CAN use a paring knife as well, but I find a y-peeler to be more controlled and precise. They *are* harder to find, though. 

There are also several other odds and ends for a nicely stoked bar like a strainer, a citrus squeezer, matches or a lighter to ignite citrus peels and their essential oils, a set of tongs to match an ice bucket, etc.  Ain't nobody got time (or space) for that, though.

In the absence of a rich Saudi husband, I plan to hit up some thrift stores (or my father's house--head's up Dad!) to find unique "solos" of all of those to build up my hodge-podge collection, but lemme tell you--a Carlos O'Brien tastes just as delicious in a rocks glass as it does out of a wine glass or a Mason jar or a coffee mug. I'm just saying. It's nice to be able to enjoy a cocktail in the most perfect, refined way possible, but don't let yourself get so hung up on the details that you no longer enjoy it. :)

Coming up next, the fun stuff: booze!